The Mirror in the Ring: What 10 Years of Fighting Taught Me About Growth

In the gym, they call me “Liz Lightning.”

For a long time, I wore that nickname like armor. It signified speed. It signified that I could hang with the boys. It was an identity built on performance—how hard I could hit, how fast I could move, and how many rounds I could survive against men who outweighed me by 50 pounds.

But recently, as I’ve settled into my 30s, the meaning has shifted. The ring is no longer a place where I go to prove something to others. It has become the place where I go to meet myself.

After a decade in combat sports, I’ve realized that fighting isn’t really about the opponent standing across from you. It’s a conversation with your own ego, your fears, and your capacity for growth. Here is what the ring has taught me about the art of becoming.

1. The Shift from Ego to Evolution

In my 20s, training was fueled by a need for external validation. I wanted to be the “tough girl.” I treated my body like a machine to be pushed to its breaking point. If I was injured, I ignored it. If I was tired, I forced it.

Your 30s are the era of the “Internal Shift.”

Now, I don’t train to burn calories or to impress a coach. I train to ground myself. The discipline of kickboxing has become a form of moving meditation. When you are sparring, you cannot think about your email inbox, that difficult real estate negotiation, or your to-do list. You must be entirely present.

This presence is the ultimate form of self-care. It clears the mental clutter, allowing me to return to my business and my relationships with a clarity I didn’t possess a decade ago.

2. Resilience is Quiet

I have spent thousands of rounds sparring men. There is a primal fear that kicks in when you see a punch coming from someone significantly stronger than you. Your instinct is to close your eyes and turn away.

But the practice teaches you to keep your eyes open in the chaos. It teaches you that getting hit isn’t the end of the world—it’s just data. You adjust. You move. You counter.

This has been the single greatest lesson for my personal growth. Life in your 30s comes with heavier responsibilities. The “punches” are different—business challenges, emotional hurdles, big decisions. Because of the ring, I don’t panic when things get hard. I find my stance. I breathe. I know that I can endure discomfort and come out the other side.

3. Self-Respect Means Better Standards

Perhaps the biggest sign of maturity is how we treat the vessel that carries us through life. In the past, I used whatever cheap gloves were in the lost-and-found bin. I didn’t value my hands or my joints.

Today, I view my gear as an act of self-respect. If I expect my body to perform at a high level in business and life, I have to protect it with the best resources available.

This is why I use Hayabusa T3s. It’s not just about the brand; it’s about the engineering. The wrist alignment technology protects my hands—the same hands I use to sign contracts and build my future. Investing in quality gear was a mindset shift: “I am worth protecting.”

4. The Glow of Competence

At How To Live 30, we talk about “glowing.” Often, we think that comes from skincare or fashion (and sure, those help). But true radiance comes from competence.

There is a deep, quiet confidence that settles in when you know what your body is capable of. When you finish a hard session, dripping in sweat, hair messy, shins bruised—you feel powerful. That feeling translates into everything else you do.

You walk taller. You speak with more conviction. You don’t feel the need to be the loudest person in the room because you know exactly who you are.

The Invitation

If you are reading this and feeling stagnant, or if you feel like you lost touch with your “edge” somewhere in your 20s, I invite you to step into the arena. It doesn’t have to be kickboxing. It could be pilates, running, or weightlifting.

Find the thing that challenges you. Find the thing that forces you to be present. Embrace the struggle, not because you have something to prove to the world, but because you have so much to discover about yourself.

Let’s keep growing. Let’s keep fighting.