What I’d Tell My 20-Something Self

Hey friends, it's Lizzie. If I could sit across from my 25-year-old self — the one who was so anxious about doing life “right” — here's everything I'd want her to know. Maybe you need to hear it too.

You don't have to have it all figured out

I spent my 20s convinced everyone else had a master plan and I was the only one improvising. The truth? Nobody knows what they're doing — they're all just figuring it out in real time, same as you. The pressure to have it “together” by 30 is a made-up deadline. You have so much more time than the panic tells you.

Stop trying to shrink yourself

So much of my energy went into being smaller — smaller body, smaller opinions, smaller presence. What a waste. The moment I started taking up space (in the gym, in rooms, in my own life), everything got better. You are not too much. Be more, not less.

Your real friends matter more than a big circle

I used to measure friendship by quantity. Now I'd trade a hundred acquaintances for the three people who show up when it's hard. Invest in the ones who feel like home, and stop pouring energy into rooms where you have to perform to belong.

Take the scary leap sooner

Every big thing I was afraid of — walking into that first kickboxing class, starting a business, putting myself out there — turned out to be the doorway to the best parts of my life. Fear was almost always pointing at exactly what I needed to do. You don't have to feel ready. Ready comes after you jump.

Comfort is not the goal

The comfortable path is rarely the fulfilling one. Growth lives on the other side of the stuff that scares you. I'd tell her: get comfortable being uncomfortable, because that's where you actually become who you're meant to be.

Be so much kinder to yourself

The way I talked to myself in my 20s — I'd never speak to a friend that way. If I could give her one gift, it'd be self-compassion. You're doing better than you think, you're allowed to be a work in progress, and you deserve the same patience you give everyone else.

You're going to be okay — better than okay

The thing I most wish she knew: it works out. Not perfectly, not on your timeline, but it works out in ways you can't imagine yet. The best decade is ahead of you, not behind. So breathe, take the leap, and be gentle with the girl figuring it all out. She's going to build something beautiful. 💛

It's never too late to change course

If there's one thing my 30s have proven, it's that the “it's too late” story is a lie. I started serious training when people said I should be settling down. I've watched women pivot careers, start businesses, learn to fight, and fall in love with their lives well into their 40s, 50s, and beyond. There is no expiration date on reinventing yourself, chasing a dream, or becoming someone new. Whatever you've been telling yourself you're “too old” or “too late” for — that's just fear wearing a practical costume. The only wrong time to start is never. Your next chapter can begin the moment you decide it does.