We’re All Doing the Same 5 Hobbies in Our 30s (I Forgot Wine Tasting)

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Hey friends, it’s Lizzie! Somebody needs to explain to me why every single person I know is currently doing the exact same five things. My group chat has done pilates, pickleball, and a run club in the last calendar year, golf has joined the group chat too, and I don’t think a single one of us coordinated any of it. It’s giving group hallucination. It’s also, I think, giving something real about our 30s — and wine tasting deserves its place as number five. Kickboxing gets an honorable mention from me.

The Pipeline, As I’ve Watched It Happen

Pilates came first, and it came in hot — specifically reformer pilates, specifically with the little grip socks, specifically photographed from above. Then pickleball took over every park with a tennis court nobody used anymore, because it turns out “a sport where you can talk the entire time” is exactly what a burned-out 30-something wants. Run clubs followed — not the serious kind, the kind that runs three miles and then stands around a coffee shop for forty-five minutes, which is honestly the real activity. And now golf is having its moment, minus the stuffy country-club energy of it, more “nine holes and a spicy margarita after.”

Every single one of these has the same shape: low-stakes, social, a little bit aesthetic, and structured enough that you don’t have to be the one who plans it. That’s not a coincidence.

The One I Somehow Forgot: Wine Tasting

I wrote this entire post before it hit me that I left off the most obvious one, and honestly the omission is a little embarrassing. Wine tasting isn’t the next activity joining the rotation — it’s the original member, the one the whole rotation is built on the shape of. Somebody’s cousin’s “vineyard weekend” is basically a rite of passage at this point. We stand in a circle, someone says the wine “gives stone fruit, maybe a little oak,” nobody knows what that means including the person who said it, and we all nod like a panel of judges. It is deeply silly and I include myself fully in the silliness.

But here’s the thing — strip the swirling and the tasting notes away and it’s the exact same formula as everything else on this list: low-stakes, social, a built-in reason to stand around with people for two hours, and just aesthetic enough to photograph. It might be the purest example of the whole phenomenon, and I cannot believe I almost left it off its own list.

Why We’re All Doing This At the Same Time

Here’s my actual theory, and it’s not that we’re all just following a trend for no reason. Making friends as an adult is genuinely hard — there’s no built-in structure for it anymore once you’re out of school and settled into a routine. Every single activity on this list solves that same problem: it gives you somewhere to show up on a schedule, with a low-pressure reason to talk to people, without the vulnerability of a “let’s be friends” ask. Nobody has to be brave. You just have to show up to pickleball.

The aesthetic part matters too, I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t. Every one of these looks good on a feed, which makes it easier to justify the money and the time. But I don’t think that’s the real engine. The real engine is that we’re all quietly starving for a version of adult friendship that doesn’t require a scheduling miracle, and a weekly pickleball game is the closest thing most of us have found.

My Honest Ranking, If You’re Choosing Where to Start

If you want the lowest barrier to entry, start with pickleball — equipment is cheap, courts are everywhere, and you can be genuinely decent within a few sessions. If you want the social payoff without much athletic pressure, a run club wins, because the running is honestly optional in spirit even if not on paper. If you want something that quietly doubles as strength and posture work, pilates is worth the reformer prices. And if your version of “activity” has always meant something with a little more intensity to it, I’m obligated to say this as someone ten years into the gloves: kickboxing belongs on this list too, even if it’s never going to be as cheesy-cute as the five on this list. It solves the exact same friendship problem, just with better cardio.

How to Find Your People at Any of These

The activity is the easy part. Turning it into actual friendships takes one more small move most people skip: showing up to the same one, at the same time, on purpose, more than once. A single drop-in class doesn’t build anything — the fifth time you see the same faces is when it starts turning into something real. Look for a recurring slot instead of a one-off, say yes to whatever happens after (the coffee, the post-round drink, the parking-lot conversation), and don’t be the person who leaves the second the activity technically ends. That’s usually where the actual friendship part happens.

I went deeper on this in how to make friends in your 30s, if you want the long version.

The Gear You Need (Almost None of It)

Part of why these took off is how little you need to start. Pickleball: a paddle and a few balls. The paddles I’m obsessed with are from Friday Pickleball, and code ELIZABETH24253 is the one to check at checkout; confirm the current offer and eligibility before paying. (Fun fact: Friday is the brand name, not the day. I just try to get a game in at least once a week.)

Golf: rent clubs before you buy anything, which is the first rule in my beginner golf tips. Pilates: grip socks, and that’s the whole list. Run club: the shoes you already run in; here’s why run clubs are the new happy hour. Wine tasting: a designated driver. Kickboxing: gloves and wraps, and my first-pair buying guide covers both.

The Actual Point

None of this is really about the activity. It’s about giving yourself permission to be a beginner at something in public, on a schedule, with other people, at an age where it can start to feel like you’re supposed to already have your hobbies figured out. You don’t. Pick the cheesy activity. Show up badly at it a few times. That’s the whole trend, and I think it’s a genuinely good one.

Your Questions, Answered

Does wine tasting count as an activity? If pickleball counts, wine tasting absolutely counts. It has the exact same shape — scheduled, social, low-pressure, a little bit of a look — it just comes with a glass instead of a paddle.

Do I need to be athletic to try any of these? You can look for beginner-friendly versions of these activities. Check the class or group description, pace, accessibility and any equipment requirements rather than assuming every session is set up for a first-timer.

What if I don’t want to do a group activity at all? Then don’t — the friendship-building part matters more than the specific activity. A standing coffee date or a two-person hobby works the same magic without the group logistics.

Now tell me, friends: which one are you currently in your era of? And be honest — how many wine-tasting weekends are you personally responsible for planning? Drop it in the comments. Come find me on Instagram @sealillly for more of this. Love you, mean it. ✨

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